This dude has the best page on Yelp.

Read his review of Prehistoric Pets

I am so nerdy. I have started down the path of the most dorkified hobby ever - RC Helicopters. Far more geeky than planes, less geeky than robots and less glamorous than battlebots, the RC Heli is not for the faint of heart. They can kill you, are incredibly hard to fly and need constant maintenance and take years to master. But, its better than golf, and less pretentious than tennis, which is my other alternative out here in suburbia.

Dorktastic RC Helicopter Flying:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=np5XSTwv4vA

I saw this at the Glendale mall. I guess even stuff bears have to stuff.

so I updated the wordpress back end from 2.0.1 to 2.6. mostly it went smooth there was som nonsens with the categories however most of the stuff is behind the scenes. readers shouldent notice any change. posters will notice a new “dashboard” mainly I did the update so I could use the new wordpress iPhone app. it’s pretty sweet and I am posting with it as we speak. if you are a contributor and have an iPhone, go to the app store and download the app and let the mobile blogging begin!

Emmy award winning reality competition series The Amazing Race is now casting for “feel good couples” who are in male/male relationships or female/male relationships. You don’t have to be married, just have good chemistry and have a competitive spirit about you.
If you are interested in applying, please email Donna at donna.goodrow@gmail.com with your name and contact information and a picture of your teammate that you want to apply with ASAP. Casting our finalists is only a few weeks away and this could be your opportunity to walk away with a grand prize of a million bucks. Please check out cbs. com for more information about the show. If your interested in applying, email Donna right away!

DEAR ASK A BUMPS:

I work in a very weird office environment the professionals I work with are older, in their 60’s. The support staff is young, dumb and full of cum.
I lie right in the middle of these worlds, not old enough for Viagra and not young enough to do keg stands. On one side I get to hear about miscarriages in toilets after one night stands and on the other I get to hear about hip replacement surgery. While I like to stay locked in my own office left to my thoughts and farts, I feel like I segregate myself too much at work. I don’t want to talk about ointment, and I don’t want to talk about jauger bombs and redbull either. What do I do?

Signed,
Why can’t people where suits to work anymore.

Dear Why can’t people wear suits to work anymore:

You are asking the wrong Bumps. This Bumps encourages as much anti social behavior as possible and my reasoning lies in your signature. In 2008, People have no class. Lock your door. Create an escape hatch that goes from your office directly to your car. Stay away from those troglodytes. Do not pass go. Do not stop for salt cheese. It sucks being socially separated from your coworkers, but look, you aren’t 60 and you aren’t in a fraternity. I’m guessing they all wear jeans and t shirts to work. You do not need one more friend who wears denim trousers. You need people who make you look good. That said, miscarriages in toilets is always good water cooler talk.

Sincerely

AskABumps

Saw this at lunch. So great!

Alpacas Magazine covers the gamut of alpaca-related topics: from animal husbandry to the latest on alpaca research; human interest stories and marketing suggestions; global alpaca news updates; conference and show ring updates; and fiber and fashion / end product-related articles. Chock-full of information designed to both educate and entertain, A.M. is the #1 best source of alpaca information on the market.

I know old icons need a paycheck, I loved me some Mr. T. He’s always had such a good attitude, I even got excited for his reality show where he helped people. I’ve actually written about him many many times on whateves. I even own his records on vinyl.
But no more, I’m done. His new commercial where he is shooting snickers at a speed walker from a monster truck is just too much. ‘Cause clearly he isn’t shooting a “speed walker”, he needs his candy eating friends to be “MEN”, Real Men, MEN who beat their wives and slup pussy like a big gulp. He should be shooting his snickers are dead beat dads, or that dude from the Hills with the creepy flesh colored beard. Not super gay speed walkers.

Here’s the commercial if you haven’t seen it yet.

Link

While this isn’t the first time someone I know dated someone who ended up in Playgirl, but this time it hits closer to whateves home.

patbenatard recently showed up on Bravo on a fake date set up by producers with this Million Dollar Listing Douche Hose.

(Douchey guy on left, Awesome patbenatard on right)

and now that hose is in Playgirl showing off his real estate.

God, life really does get better and better.

You could also file this under Idiocracy. I submitted an email to be an contestant. I told them I’m sorta authentic. I really hope they pick me. You should submit one too. Here is the show encase you are missing it.

wipeoutcasting@gmail.com

Please include your name, address, occupation, contact phone numbers, email addresses, a recent photograph of yourself, and a brief summary of why you’re the perfect candidate for this show.

I just posted that I ate a Subway sandwich that upstaged the entire cast of Mannequin in  regards to Estelle Getty Passing away. Come with me and explore how vital a role Subway has played in my life, won’t you?
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I always thought she died a long time ago, that is why they never had a Golden Girls movie. Now, I’m really pissed, they could have had a trilogy by now. The Golden Girls: Take it to the streets. The Golden Girls: The Golden Army; take over of shady pines. The Golden Girls: Don’t You wish your Girlfriend was Hot Like Me?

Estelle you’ll be missed, just like you were missed before.

She was 84 and had dementia, she must have been hilarious.

This sculpture needs to be put near the lesbian biker throwing a dagger sculpture ASAP.

In other REAL news a paster in Indiana (not Florida) tried to show the concept of unity by crashing his motorcycle off a 5 foot ramp into the first 5 empty rows of seats inside the holy worship center. What the fuck church is this? So I guess he didn’t have the hand of god helping him with his Unity with his bike and ramp. So, did this prove to the church goers there is no god?
Full story here.

I work in Downtown LA. The food down here is boring to say the least. I eat at Weilands Brewery, because they have garlic fries, and the epic Salads 2000, but there is a new Kid on the block, EL Coche. Now I do love me a themed eatery, I guess that is why I can’t stop going to Salads 2000. Where in the future, you get a shit load of salad for 4 dollars, and enough Ice Tea to fill the LA river. So now that Los Angeles Taco Trucks are curbed, they are now parking shopping malls.

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Whiskey bottles in mom truck’s bed. Margaritas at the beer garden. Bumps bumping a dude that looked like Brian Setzer. Seeing the most amazing painting of wolf on back of jacket of old dude abducting a boy. Photos of WCKevin and various animal anuses. Smells a plenty. Asking people in line for the Mighty Mighty Bossatones if they were in line for the Pig Races. Yelling expletives at the pigs in pig races and super gay southern young MC ringmastering the races. Feeling sorry for the pigs  named after foods they may someday become. Running in to Tyler from Classix. Riding “Dirty Tarp”.  DIRTY TARP RIDE! Sliding down Euroslide.com. Searching for Art Pavillion. Ended up in “cause pavilion.” Getting information of square dancing lessons. Photos in various stick your head through the hole photo ops. Bumps stuck in a fireman uniform. Brick of curly fries from Juicy’s with bubbling ranch.  Gutter-punks stealing some fried then touching rest of them. Eating them anyway. YUM.  Chocolate dog on a stick really fried tootsie roll. Carnival of products where WC Kevin became the guinea pig for hair removal system. Lady telling Bumps her hand looked old. Planning where we would work if we joined the carnival: Me – Airbrushing things, Bumps – selling hot tubs, WC Kevin – on a ride (DIRTY TARP) where he could scare children. Kitten’s on T-shirts and visors. Obese Young Adult Female dressed like a 4 year old. And finally finding the art pavilion: